Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Latest in Depression

Why does this keep on happening. As soon as I start to be able to live, I lose it all. If this is god's way of telling me to come back to him, it's not going to work. Ever! My life is pretty much miserable. I'm back to square one, and this time I don't know how to get out. No job. In order to get a job, I need a phone for them to contact me at. In order for me to have a job I need a car to get there with. No girlfriend. In order for me to get a girlfriend, I need a phone to talk to her with. In order for me to get a girlfriend, I need a car to see her with. And in order for me to have a girlfriend I need a job to take her on dates. Bascally, I'm at a stand still, and I have no idea how to get out. Soon, I'll be the last one without a job. Therefore, yet again, the only one without rent. I owe Deena about a thousand dollars (I'm not exaggerating by the way, I owe her at least 950 dollars), and I have no idea how I'm supposed to pay her back. How am I supposed to satisfy everyone around me when I can't even satisfy myself?

I feel like all I can do now, is just leave. Get myself away from anyone I care about, so that I don't hurt them anymore. Go live in a box in california. Or on a rug in mexico. No rent, right? I can't handle this anymore.

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