Can anyone turn on the light?

My blogs are always so dramatic, and I'm sorry if I annoy anyone. Just had to say that.
(your probably rolling your eyes thinking "here we go again...")

This past week... I can't even describe it. It was what I thought the best week of my life, but it turned out to be one of the worst.

Sunday Night:
So, I'm out smoking a cigarette with Cameron, and his dad picks him up to take him to job corps. Janae pulls in and we start talking. She tells me that they were rolling that night and said that I could come roll also. So, I scrounged the apartment for coins, and came up with the twelve dollars for one pill. I went to their apartment at around 7 and I met her. Morgan. *sigh* We talked and talked and talked about everything. I have not been able to talk to someone so easily, so quickly. She was like my other half. Then, at around 930, we took the pills. I snorted mine. The trip hit very very fast. All night, morgan and I hung out. She was very horny because of the pills, but because of past experiences, and the longing for this to last, I didn't let anything happen. We kissed, but I wouldn't let it go any further. The next day, I woke up as one of the three people on her bed, and thought, "I could get used to this!" Kite, a juvy runaway, was sleeping next to me, and Morgan was on the other side of me. She was so cute while she was sleeping. :-P

Monday:
I stayed with her all day. We hung out, talked about more music, and just did whatever. That night, I was spiked again. I was tripping, high, and drunk all at the same time. MY GOD! My body had no idea what I had done to it. She was also drunk, and once again, horny. Still, I didn't let anything happen. If anything was going to happen, I wanted both of us to be sober when it did. Later, I went to H&R block with my dad, and she went out with her kind of boyfriend idiot, who everyone hates. He treated her terribly, and being with me, made her realize that she could have better. She was with him for hours. In the end, I realized that they were in her room, getting all of his shit that he had left there. Right when I decide to go over there, HE is walking out. AWKWARD!!!! Anyway, she came back and anounced that she was officially single, but was a little distant, giving me the hint that she wanted to stay that way for a while. I respected that, but still /shrugged it off.

Tuesday:
I again, wake up by her side, with a smile. She had even told me that I'm the first guy she's actually been able to comfortably cuddle with, and sleep at the same time. We, again, hung out all day. That night we were both pretty sober, and I let my gaurd down. Damnet.

Wednesday:
Wake up to her cuddling, and decide that this is a good life. I couldn't understand how I could fall for someone so damn quickly, but I had. We hung out, but I ended up sleeping in my own bed! Haha!

Thursday:
I went back over there at about 10, and we hung out all day. Then, Kite, had no place to stay and almost got the cops called on him. We had to take him home. Jake, Morgan's best friend, AND EX, took him home, and we tagged along. Five hour drive at 11 at night. My GOD! When we got back, we were both very tired, so we went to our own beds.

Friday:
I, again, went back over in the morning, and we hung out all day, and ended up rolling again that night. The only difference was I had two, instead of one. I thought it would be a good night, until Morgan was being very distant. I was doing okay, until the stoners went home, and it was only four of us. Two guys, and two girls. As Morgan put it, the pressure was on. As soon as they left, and Sam kicked me out, my trip was terrible. I was very very moody, and I didn't enjoy anything. And to make matters worse, I slept on the couch. Ouch!

Saturday:
I realized that she needed some space. So I left her alone, but continued to bitch and complain about how stupid I had been that week to Jake. He kept on telling me I was just making it worse for her, and our chances slimmer. That night though, they came over. She wanted to say hi. It made my night. Better, and worse. I wanted her so badly, but knew if I tried, it would be over.

Sunday, Today:
She called me, and asked for a griddle for pancakes. I brought it over, said hi for a minute, and left. We texted on and off today, and things are looking better. I just feel different. That's what I get for being stupid, right? I feel a change in me. I'm more quite. More relaxed. And very very spacey. I space out so often.... Too often. I don't know if my roommates have noticed it. And now, I've screwed them over for rent this month. In the end, I will have around 150 to 200 dollars, when I need 368. I'm an irresponsible, joke of a friend, loser. I'm sure my roommates agree. On top of it all, Morgan is moving. The cops are finding out that they were keeping Mike Banta, Kite's runaway Juvy friend, and it's getting too sketchy. Also, they don't have enough credit to sign a contract. I don't know where she's going, but she's moving out with Jake. What the fuck? I know they're best friends and all, but moving out with your ex who is still madly and deeply in love with you? Absolutely ridiculous.

Anyways, to conclude, I have ruined chances with an amazing girl, can't come up with rent and screwed over my roommates, and, now have changed because of one week. One crazy, perilous week that fucked me up the ass. I'm sorry to anyone that I have offended. Hopefully you'll forgive me.

Jorden out.